I deleted my Facebook account and I liked it. I didn’t do it because I am a “hater” not at all, I did it because it was easier to recreate than clean up an account and deal with the “drama” of unfriending people.
I deleted my Facebook account to align with my personal position on the purpose of the Facebook platform, to connect with my friends and family. To follow my often preached rule of engagement on that network.
Suggested Facebook Rule of Engagement: A person should only connect and share with those they would invite into their home and share their family albums with.
For seven years I have consistently made that statement, once I found Follr I knew it was the right place to bridge the communication gap between my friends and family via Facebook but to keep my other “social network friends” up to speed on my life. It took a LOT of courage to delete, but once I did it was truly liberating.
I zipped up my account and downloaded it all neatly archived, photos, posts and all, a nice little service that Facebook offers. Then I learned a few important lessons about what to do when leaving Facebook, but that’s for another post.
Suddenly I felt as though I was transported back to high school… suddenly I was something I was not (any longer, but ask one of my best friends from high school, Marla Meridith, she has a few stories to tell), dependent upon another’s perception and assumption of my choice and how it reflected upon them.
This experience was intriguing and frustrating all at the same time that it taught me a few things about human behavior and self-awareness in social communities. Many people really need a lot more of it.
My Top Takeaways from my experience of deleting my Facebook account.
Social Bandwidth Limit Exceeded: It’s not you, it’s me.
“Why did you delete me?”
Were asked of me over, and over… I could sense the upset, confusion, sadness, and depression in these contacts. These people really thought I had deleted them. My response to this was one everyone loved and immediately changed their mood back to a positive one.
“I deleted me.” as I chuckled to myself. Suddenly, there was an epiphany.
Stop it people. Stop determining your self-worth from who “likes” you on Facebook, or any other social channel. Consider that perhaps they miss seeing updates on family and friends, or that they are trying to simplify their lives, reclaim their space.
We need to celebrate everyone who recognizes that things are getting far too complicated, not attack them for removing themselves from the chaos.
People are far too focused on the “numbers game” of social media.
Admit it, we all look at the numbers, we trust those numbers to tell us that someone holds value and we should connect with them. Really?
Not at all. Lately I have noticed a lot of people with tens of thousands of followers on Twitter, but they only have five tweets? No, there clearly isn’t any reason to question the value of those connections.
On the flip side, I have discovered some amazing people with 50,000 plus tweets and only a few hundred friends or followers. These folks also happen to be sharing some amazing content and ideas.
So what exactly do the numbers prove? Plenty in an algebraic equation but absolutely nothing in a social community.
Passive Aggressive, it’s just not my color and it doesn’t look good on anyone.
Ask questions, don’t assume you know everything There was a surprisingly large number of people that came to their own conclusion and stewed in the juices of their own imagination. In their minds great variations on the theme of Godzilla stomping me to death must have been played out.
Rather than check for messages, or ask questions, they wanted to be upset, hurt and create a nice “I am the victim” scenario to exist in.
I did go back to Facebook.
I haven’t had time to reconnect with everyone I want to (you know where you are guys, so please send a request), and I am holding true to my personal rule. I have messaged those I was not permitted to send a request to, but since it lands in the “Other” message box I don’t know how long until they discover the true reason.
This experience reinforced my belief that many people really need to believe more in themselves. They need to reflect more on who they are and find that self-awareness that will lead them to becoming totally self-confident. As I have said before MANY times, #OwnIt.